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Life Lessons Learned From A
Dog
- If you stare at
someone long enough, eventually you’ll get what you
want.
- Don’t go out
without ID.
- Be direct with
people; let them know exactly how you feel by piddling
on their shoes.
- Be aware of when
to hold your tongue, and when to use it.
- Leave room in
your schedule for a good nap.
-
Always give
people a friendly greeting.
(A cold nose in the
crotch is effective.)
- When you do
something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as
you’re dragged out from under the bed).
- If it’s not wet
and sloppy, it’s not a real kiss.
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Dog Property Laws
- If I like it, it’s mine.
- If it’s in my mouth, it’s
mine.
- If I can take it from you,
it’s mine.
- If I had it a little while
ago, it’s mine.
- If it’s mine, it must never
appear to be yours in any way.
- If I’m chewing something up,
all the pieces are mine.
- If it just looks like mine,
it’s mine.
- If I saw it first, it’s mine.
- If you are playing with
something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
- If it’s broken, it’s yours.
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